Stitches
by Chelcee Dandan
Summary: AU. Sequel to Leaving You. Det. Jane Rizzoli has vanished once more, this time, unwillingly, leaving Maura and the rest of her family at bitter ends. It takes one event to cause the worst ripple effect. Sometimes trust is might, but who can we trust these days? How does a family cope when the wounds won't heal, where the stitches won't stay closed?
1. Reliving the Nightmare

**It's Spring in my head.**

**It is advisable to read _Leaving You _if needed.**

**Happy reading and cheers.**

* * *

One | Reliving the Nightmare

The smell of the hospital seemed to create a small village under everyone's nose and decided to fume its scent as if it were the Industrial Revolution all over again. All around the living room, the likes of Angela, Frankie, Tommy, and Maura sat, dismayed and angry, as the image of the last month radiated in their mind. No one spoke about _it. _No one knew where to start. Life hadn't stopped. It only grew slow and complicated, yet the events seemed to run at sonic speed. It had been exactly eight days since they discovered _her_, lying on the ground, closing into death. Eight days since Maura felt _her _blood oozing into the dry fibers of her dress. Eight days since the horrific night. Eight days since they've said _her _name. Saying _her _name wasn't the difficult part, but rather the seconds that followed after. It pierced their tongue, straddled their throats, and worse of all, it seemed to warm a cold depression in their body.

The four looked at each other, instantly recognizing the question that haunted them. _How could they recover from this? _The realization hit them like a never ending cycle. How could someone so monstrous be the same person who was the reason for such a great deal of happiness? The stares were always directed towards Maura, as if she wanted anymore pity. What Maura needed was to move on. What she needed was a sense of resolution – a closure, the facts and reasons to support the facts. She needed the truth and the scientific method, she knew, would not help in such a complex situation. As Angela's muffled tears echoed throughout the dimly lit room, Maura felt her body turn rigid as it had small rates of spasms down her spine.

"At least eat, sweetie." Angela barely whispered. She too had lost the willingness to eat. The two Rizzoli brothers were a better story, since they had their own families to care for. It became difficult to hold a family that was slowly falling apart because of an unexpected black sheep. Angela was on the verge of a breakdown, since it was easy to give everything up. But _someone _had to be the nucleus or the mitochondria of the family, because if no one would step up to the role, recovery would be close to impossible. Surely, Maura suffered the biggest and deepest blow. She would not be qualified, let alone be allowed, to be the person who would hold everyone together.

"Sweetie, you haven't had a proper meal for days!" Angela tried to escalate her voice. Maura looked at her, briefly, and then stared back into space, before _the images_ grew back in her mind.

_Frankie was the first to jump out of the car, even as it was still moving. He dashed to the gritty door, pounding it several times while he waited for everyone else to follow. Tommy yelled into the door while Angela stood off to the side, beginning to feel her heart break. Maura was at the edge of the doorstep, telling her children to cover their ears. The first two minutes of waiting in anticipation burned every cell in their bodies. They knew she was in this apartment. They knew because that was the word on the street, thanks to Rondo. The men continued to yell and pound, causing the children to cling tightly to their mother. Soon, Frankie was backing up and with his foot; he knocked it down, suddenly exposing the inhumane condition._

_ Everyone was taken aback. Their eyes scanned the crumbling living room. There was broken glass everywhere, especially against the wall. Small amounts of blood was present, some even smudging against the wall. Not only that, but a gaping hole on the wall stood perpendicular against the couch that seemed to have been thrown against the wall. The kitchen was small, but in its tiny space bore the greatest wrenching smell of alcohol. The drawers were out, cabinets opened, and the fridge began to show signs of mold. More broken glass was present. The sight was horrific for everyone. Maura had no idea what to do with her children. She hesitated for a moment, whether to step outside or to have them stand by the door. Tommy realized Maura's dilemma and decided to walk out with the kids_

_ "Oh God," Angela whimpered, "What has happened?"_

_ Maura walked beside Frankie and took in every sight of the broken fragments that resembled her. The broken glass, blood splatters, and destruction, they feared, mirrored her for the past couple of weeks._

_ "How can someone live in a place like this?" Frankie asked. He stared at the clutter of empty bottles of whiskey. Silence protruded them until the wildest shrieks chilled their bones._

_ "Oh my God! Jane!" Angela yelled from another room. A sense of desperation and sadness overwhelmed the strength of her voice. Almost simultaneously, Frankie ad Maura ran towards the haunting yell. As they made their way, Frankie and Tommy made eye contact and simply nodded. Tommy would have to see for himself later. They caught a quick glimpse of the room, which had been cluttered in a mess._

_ Maura pushed the door open to find Angela cradling Jane in a pool of crimson red blood. Maura could not spot the source of it. There was too much, anyways. In a span of one minute, Maura's state of emotion and decision became turbulent. She didn't work on live people. It was never her thing, since they had their own voice to speak for. But Maura's doctor instincts were strong and had begun to kick in. She quickly assessed the situation as tedious as she could. Her arms were out at millions of angles. The cuts were so deep that the slightest movement would cause the exposure of a few veins, muscles, and more blood. The deepest were at the wrist, where the blood seemed to flow like a fountain – never running out of its source. Next, Maura scanned the next source – the neck. The precision was pooled in a puddle of blood. It looked all too familiar – the angle of it and how it curved slightly. It almost looked like something Hoyt would do. That statement sent chills all over Maura's neck. It seemed as if the victim became the perpetrator, but to herself._

_ "Maura! Do something!" Angela pleaded with her entire body. Her eyes were red with desperation and her voice grew absent, almost rasping. Maura's knees buckled. She felt her white Dolce and Gabbana tighten with every breathless attempt to get oxygen circulating in her system. The thought of saving the person who so dearly damaged her own life, seemed stupid in its own sense. Maura did and was capable of exerting her medical skills in order to save a life. In fact, she could save a life. But this life…this person who made their decision to end her life – a question that always popped up in a doctor's mind – is the person who literally Maura's other half. That was the doctor's dilemma. Do doctors save the lives of those who chose suicide? The answer was clear as Maura blankly stared at Angela._

_ With a rush, Maura kneeled down, allowing the warm red blood to seep into the white dress. The smell grew intense as fresh blood continued to drain out of the almost lifeless body. She took in a deep breath, closed her eyes to regain her composure, and tried so hard to separate her emotions. But when she opened her eyes, a foreign feeling, a very strange one, empowered her. _

_ Maura's hands ran all over the pulse points. Her hands shook vigorously and her vision trembled. Her pulse was dangerously low, as expected. Next, Maura reached over to grab a t-shirt, one that was all too familiar. It was a black shirt, a gift from Maura as a partial joke and it read: Future Scientist of America. Painfully, Maura ripped it into strands and instructed Angela, who continued to cradle her daughter, to hold and keep them from the puddle._

_ Tears soon rained down Maura's face. Desperate grew feverishly and the emotion that had longed to be expected, because to scream out from Maura's mouth. She grabbed the ripped cloth from Angela and began to tie them around her wrists. In truth, there was not enough. There was not enough cloth to cover the entire arm. But it was enough to pinch off the main source._

_ "Angela, keep her head steady!" Maura panted. "Try not to move." She looked at Frankie. "Did you ca-."_

_ "E.T.A five minutes." He replied. _

_ Maura examined the limp body in front of her. She couldn't say her name just yet, since it hurt so much. But her emotions won, sending Maura into an even more desperate fit._

_ "Jane!" Maura yelled out. The effort to say the four letter word was massive. "You need to stay…stay with me." She applied more pressure on the neck, trying to not allow anger to choke her. "Jane! You need to do your best to breathe!" Maura checked for a pulse. She darted her eyes in fear. "She's not breathing! Frankie! Come here! I need you to keep applying pressure on her neck. Angela…just keep doing what you're doing!"_

_ She laid a hand on top of the other and placed it in Jane's unmoved chest. In rhythm, she pressed down and realized that she was now pumping to save her life._

_ "They're here!" Tommy yelled from the front door. He held onto the children's hands."In the bathroom," he said. The gurney took up much of the ill sized hallway. Two E.M.T's walked in behind Frankie._

_ "Oh Lord…" the closest to Maura says. "What do we have?"_

_ "Thirty nine year old female. Deep lacerations all over both arms and neck. Multiple veins were hit with the exception of the jugular vein." Maura said. She continued doing CPR. _

_ "Alright, we're going to need to get an I.V up. Ma'am." He said. "Ma'am. You need to let me take over. Ma'am!"_

_ "Jeff." The other man said sternly. "Don't."_

_ "No! I need to take over!"  
"Jeff." His eyed pointed at Maura and then to Jane. Jeff's eyes followed the likes of his partner. His eyes said everything. They simply recognized._

_ "Okay…Ma'am, I'm going to ask one more time. Please let me -."_

_ "No. If I stop, then she will die." Maura asserted her voice. "Do we really need another reason to give people an idea for a headline?" the timing of the sarcasm was off, but it blurted out a sense of pain and truth. Neither E.M.T's spoke. "By the look on your faces, I can only conclude that you know us. And because of that, you will do exactly as I say. Do I make myself clear?" _

_ Both men nodded without hesitation. Frankie and Angela stopped, only for a moment, and took in the old Maura, knowing it would gone be in a matter of days. They could feel the inner conflict that Maura felt; to save an almost successful suicide and that suicide be a former lover._

_ "Frankie, I need you. Jeff, and," she looked at the other man. "What's your name?"_

_ "Uh, Mike. Mike Wore, ma'am." He replied._

_ "I need you three to carefully lift her at the same time. She's already lost more blood than allowed. Her heart is unable to pump on its own so I need you to be as synchronized as possible when you lift her. Once you're done, Frankie, I need you to come back and apply pressure. Ready?"_

_ The three men nodded one after the other. "Okay. Steady! Angela, keep her head steady till we get her on the gurney. And…is it okay if Frankie stays with me? Tommy can drive the three of you and we can meet there. Is that okay?"  
"Of course…" she let go of Jane's head. "I'll let him know." She looked at her hands and then to Maura's dress. "Your…um…do you need a change-."_

_ "Ma'am. We're going to need to go now." Mike said._

_ Maura nodded. "Meet you there." She turned towards the men. "Remember. Slow, steady, synchronized."_

_ Like a hoard of ants, they slowly made their way out of the apartment, trying their best to not step on any more glass. The stench of each room vanished, but the blood was a breath in too alienated, one breath out familiar. Blood continued to pour from Jane's wounds. Her skin grew as white and cold as snow._

_ Mike opened the two doors, and with the help of Frankie they lifted the gurney into the ambulance. Jeff attempted to step into the back, but was blocked off by Maura._

_ "You need to be in front with Mike." He tried to speak. "I said you need to be with Mike! He needs another set of eyes. We have it controlled here! Frankie!" she called out. "Are you still applying pressure?"_

_ "Yeah! Are we leaving or what?" he yelled._

_ "Just a second! Jeff, trust that I know what I'm doing. You know me. I saw the look on your face. You've seen my face all over newspapers. You know that I'm a doctor, so please go with Mike!"_

_ "Alright…just…" he stuttered. "Okay…" he ran off to the front._

_ "Frankie, close the door. I'll take over CPR. I just need to…" she inserted an I.V into Jane's arm. "Pump for a second. I need to check for…okay. Here. Put this over her nose and squeeze it in intervals of two seconds. This will regulate a little better."_

_ "She's still bleeding!" Frankie said._

_ "It's expected. The damage is more than we can handle without any tools. Let me take over."_

_ Frankie switched places and could only watch where he waited for any drastic changes. The blood prevented him from noticing any change whatsoever. Much of Maura's dress was red. He wondered how much the dress was and was even more astonished that Maura would sacrifice it for Jane._

_ The ambulance suddenly halted; causing Maura to lose her place._

_ "Hey! Be careful!" She screamed as she looked at the monitor. Jane flat lined for a good minute prior to the stop, but was broke back to life once Maura regained her composure. The doors swung open, revealing Jeff, Mike, and a doctor, whom Maura recognized._

_ "Oh…" the man said. "Dr. Ri- er, Dr. Isles. What hap-."_

_ "Dr. Anton, deep lacerations across both arms and neck. Multiple veins were hit. She's lost about six liters of blood."_

_ "Come on, let's get her out." Mike said. Together, they took the gurney out. Jeff took over CPR._

_ "Alright. Get her in a room. I want every test done and get her scanned!" Dr. Anton said. He turned to Maura. "Is that -."_

_ "Yes. That's her." Maura said quietly. She began to walk. "Frankie, wait for them."_

_ He left and returned to the lobby._

_ "How bad?" Dr. Anton asked._

_ "Very bad. She flat lined on the way and her body's rejected almost everything we gave her."_

_ "Four years, right? I haven't seen her…" he stopped. "Well, you need a change of clothes. I'll have a nurse give you some-."_

_ "No." Maura said sternly. "I need to be there. I need to be there and watch everything."_

_ "Doctor to doctor. I don't think that's a good idea. You're going to disagree with several things that I'm about to say, if not all of them, but you know it's the truth. You're overwhelmed, on an adrenaline rush. You're scared but you want to do everything in your power to save her. I get it. But you can't have conflicting emotions running inside of you. Let us do our job." Dr. Anton left without another word._

_ Maura, deaf from life, watched several doctors and nurses rush around. She stood for a few more minutes, before a nurse, spoke to her._

_ "Ma'am, can I help you?" The nurse stared at the dress. "Are you hurt? Excuse me? Ma'am?"_

_ "No." Maura replied, eyes still fixed onto the nothingness._

_ "Here." The nurse pulled Maura by the arm. "Let's have a seat. Are you not hurt?"_

_ "No." Maura replied. Her sense of vocabulary was lost in a puddle._

_ "Did you come in with someone?"_

_ "Yes." Her eyes were still round and it began to show signs of trauma. Another nurse came by and whispered something. The nurse seated next to Maura simply nodded._

_ "I'm going to get you a set of scrubs."_

_ Maura sat rigidly straight and rested her hands on the blood drenched part of her dress. She could feel the wetness seep through the dress and onto her skin. Nothing could make her move – not a sound, not a single movement. The rest of the world kept moving while Maura stood still. Her breathing was slowed to an uneven rhythm and her eyes grew big and small with each breath._

_ The nurse returned with light blue scrubs and a pair of crocs. Usually, Maura would reject, especially with the choice of shoes, but she accepted it, without even looking at the nurse._

_ "The bathroom is down the hall." The nurse said. "Also, if you need anything else, I'll be on the desk over there." She pointed at the other end of the hall and left._

_ Close to fifteen minutes later, a familiar voice rang through the door. Only now did Maura move._

_ "I'm looking for my daughter and daughter in law!" It was Angela. Her eyes ran around the building, until she found Maura. Tommy, Frankie, Johnny, and Arissa followed behind. Angela whispered something to Tommy, since he walked in the opposite direction of Maura. He brought the two kids with him. Angela ran towards Maura._

_ "Where is she?" Angela put a hand on Maura's shoulder._

_ "I don't know."_

_ Realizing Maura's new state, Angela instructed Frankie to fetch the three. She pulled Maura from the chair and guided her to the bathroom._

_ "Do you need me in there?"_

_ "No." Maura replied again._

_ Another nurse walked by and asked, "Are you with the woman who was sitting over there?"_

_ "Yes…have you seen my daughter? They took her in a few minutes ago, probably…she…she was…"_

_ "Okay, ma'am. What's your daughter's name?"_

_ "Jane Rizzoli-Isles." Angela quickly said before realizing what came out of her mouth. She stared at the nurse. "Er…I mean."_

_ "No…no. I understand. I'll find the doctor in her care."_

_ It was rarely ever news when someone understood their situation. In fact, it was more difficult to find people who didn't understand, simple because everyone knew about them, as if it were on the back of their hand. Several nurses at their stations huddled in groups and often looked back at Angela. She knew they were talking about Maura and Jane and most likely how they would transport this situation to a newspaper._

_ What's new, Angela thought to herself. She had been dubbed as the mother of a monstrous hero._

_ Maura opened the door. Her face remained the same. The smell of blood had not left her even though she held onto her clothes and heels._

_ "Go sit. I'll be with you in a moment." Angela said. As Maura walked back to the chair, something collided behind her._

_ "Mommy!" It was Arissa. Her entire body trembled against Maura. "Why are we here? Why do you have blood on your – why are you wearing that mommy?"_

_ "Ma!" Johnny followed behind. Maura did not move. She stared into her children's frantic eyes. For the first time since driving to Jane's apartment, she could feel her heart pump. But alas, what Maura felt physically was not matching emotionally. Angela and her sons reunited at the chair, blocking much of the hallway. Tommy asked questions while Frankie answered them. Angela took a hold of her grandkids, noticing that Maura hadn't replied to any of their questions._

_ Dr. Anton returned two and a half hours later, informing the lot of the depth of Jane's wounds. He claimed that Jane flat lined multiple more times, but would recover._

_ "How deep were…" Angela couldn't complete her sentence._

_ "Close to her bones. She will have to go through several therapy sessions, due to muscle and nerve damage. As for her neck, once she wakes, she will be numb, and won't be able to move much of her head as much as she wants to."_

_ "Why do I feel like you're not saying everything?" Tommy asked._

_ Dr. Anton hesitated for a moment. She flat lined a total of eight times. And in those eight times, she was out for a good three to five minutes each. If you do the math, that's close to forty minutes. Give minutes alone without circulation of oxygen to the brain can cause moderate to severe brain damage." _

_ "Are you saying she's going to have brain damage?" Frankie rose his voice, startling the two kids._

_ "That's what we're going to wait and see."_

_ "What do you mean? Is she in a coma?" Angela whimpered._

_ "Yes…" he replied._

_ "What?" The Rizzoli brothers yelled._

_ "Medically induced. It will help her recover more efficiently."_

_ "Oh mother of St. Thomas." Angela made the sign of the cross. "Did you sew her wounds?"_

_ "Yes. Those need to be looked over intensively and may take close to two months to heal. After that, we can remove the stitches. Remember, due to the depth of her lacerations, scars will most likely stay behind, on top of her previous untreated scars."_

_ "Untreated scars?" Angela covered Johnny's ears while Arissa held onto Tommy._

_ "Previous scars…most likely done by her own will."_

_ "You mean ,she's done this before?" Angela almost yelled._

_ "Unfortunately, yes. Do you have any more questions or concerns?"_

_ "Can we see her?" Tommy asked quietly._

_ "Yes…in a few. I'll have a nurse show you to her room." Dr. Anton said. "Dr. Riz- er, Dr. Isles, may I have a moment?"_

_ The group had almost forgotten about Maura. They watched ghostly eyes level to the desk on the opposite end of the room. Dr. Anton guided her up and gently walked her to a secluded room. He closed the door behind them and sat down._

_ "She was awake for about two seconds." He tried to meet Maura's eyes._

_ "Okay."_

_ "She said something."_

_ No movement._

_ "I think it was directed to you." He said quietly. "Don't you want to know?"_

_ No reply._

_ Sighing, he cleared his throat and said, "'Sorry.'"_

_ "Hm?"_

_ "'Sorry'. That's what Jane said."_

_ Maura began to laugh. It shocked the other doctor._

_ "She said sorry?" her laugh was painful and filled with rage. "Sorry that she left? Sorry that I saved her life? Or was she sorry that her blood drenched my dress? Sorry for what? Sorry does not cut it."_

_ Dr. Anton sighed once more. "Dr. I-."_

_ "Sorry doesn't bring anything back."_

The room was dark, empty and quiet. Maura looked from the corner, unable to comprehend just how she got there. One minute she was in the unmoving company of her family, next was in the comfort of isolation, sucking in all the nightmares that collapsed her every being. She started at the bed and cried on the inside, since there were no more tears left to cry on the outside. The bed signified so many things, but it was the _first _furniture they bought together. She'd only allowed two people on it – maybe regrettably. Her eyes hovered over the walls and she wondered why the hell she was still living there. Only in these rare yet peculiar moments did Maura have the time to wonder just why. She wondered why she never moved out of _their _house.

Maura hugged her legs and soaked in the darkness. It was the greatest comfort and a complete contrast to the hospital. She admired how the shadows changed in slow motion and how dust piled in places that had been neglected. She liked being alone. She liked being able to finally think. But most of all, she hated being unable to control the visions that replayed in her mind.

As expected from the unexpected series of events, the entire family worked in bipolar phases. They did what they pleased, when they pleased, and did whatever to deal with the circumstances.

It had been six days since they saw Jane – since she was snatched in front of their very eyes and another two since they found her bleeding to death. It was like endless tsunami waves that continued to hit them. Jane was gone and no one knew what to do.

There was a loud knock on the door. It quietly opened and it scratched against Maura's ears. Maura gave no effort to look up. The smell is what gave it away.

"Maura. Barry and Vince are here… I…I think they want you…I…they want us together…to talk." Angela held out her hand. "Come on…you still have to eat."

Maura was dragged to her feet, immediately showing signs of malnutrition. Her skin grew into a sick pale color and her bones looked cadaverous. On top of that, Maura's vocal cords were desert dry. The hallway was dimly lit and Maura could hear grim voices from the living room.

"The kids are watching a movie in their room." Angela said. They reached the living room and all faces turned to Maura. Frost was the first to approach her. Hesitantly, he hugged her, the first time in six days. His deep chocolate skin was obviously tired. Korsak took his turn. He smelled like animals and his eyes were red. They sat down, blankly, and waited.

"Cavanaugh has given us permission to uh…" Korsak looked at Frost, "_work _the case."

"We've been looking into anything suspicious around the city and we've notified other precincts. As of now, we know nothing."

"They're like ghosts then." Tommy muttered.

"Yeah…but in order to find her...we need to _act _like ghosts too."

"Remember what they said? We follow them and she dies!" Frankie threw the pillow on the ground. He then sat down, realizing his own inner conflicts.

"Cavanaugh put out more uniforms," Korsak said. Then silence filled the air.

The urge to find Jane and to release all bottled emotions was clear. They wanted to cry, hug every inner emotion in them, and throw it in the deepest ditch.

"What the hell are we going to do? They'll know that we're lookin' for them." Tommy sat down and eyed Maura as he positioned himself.

Maura was lost in her own world, once again. She wondered off into a tiny space in her mind that had longed to be unlocked. She'd classified the space as an endless ride in a carousel, one that would be a perfect definition for a psychosis. Just how far and lost was Maura? Their passing voices were merely sounds to her. It had no meaning and no future.

Awareness is what she needed. Not only for and from herself, but from others. She also wanted a clear mind and to somehow _understand _the given situation. What Maura didn't need was the lack of awareness. All she wanted to do was bury herself in a blanket of darkness and eerie silence and to process.

Then the main door quietly opened. Maura opted for a sense of relief. A tall man entered. It hadn't registered to anyone who he was. But to Maura, she _hoped _it was relief.

Tanner walked towards the living room. His eye brows curled up and he looked at every eye staring at him.

_Rescue _was all over Maura's face. She wanted to believe that Tanner would save her from a depressed driven insanity. And when he sat next to her, gave a warmful touch, and looked at everyone again, they knew just then that Tanner would be the opposite of rescue and relief. Tanner's being was the definition of lack of awareness.

"You still haven't given me an answer about the engagement." He said out loud as he interrupted Frost. The room grew silent and this time, eyes darted at him. Tommy's veins began to throb against his forehead. His fists were clenching into a fist.

Unaware and incredibly rude.

One could write a story about him.

But no one would read it, especially at this bone ripping event.

Jane was gone, again, and Tanner could care less.


	2. We Feel Pain

Two|We Feel Pain

Sleep was close to nonexistent. Why would Maura sleep when her nightmares consisted of what she saw while being awake? She watched day turn into night and vice versa. Her clouded mind was distant from her own body. A mild odor began to secrete through the unwashed parts of Maura's body. Her stomach growled fiercely, but alas, came no reply. Maura's bladder was most likely full, yet it hadn't registered to her brain The only thing Maura did, was stare at the ceiling and wait as the nightmares progressed.

She locked herself in her bedroom, blockading it as much as possible. She was unsure of the voices – if they were real or not. Everything around her was just a self made hallucination, or so Maura thought. And only three emotions staged; pain, anger, and confusion. The three intertwined in a deadly way.

However, as of the last three hours, confusion capitalized all. She repeated Tanner's name over a million times in her head. The feeling overlapped like a seismographic wave. Maura simply did not know what to feel.

She was never a religious person. She never understood how people could rely on an almighty God and pray their struggles into air. She couldn't comprehend how there was a man who died for the salvation of humanity and how two people single handedly destroyed the so called paradise that was set for the rest of time, simply, by eating an apple. She couldn't believe religion especially since it contradicted with _her _beliefs.

Science.

Maura learned through years and years of medical school that science and religion should not be intertwined under any circumstances. They were like two elements that could be combined only to make something deadly. Great founders and thinkers were _her _leaders, her reasons to believe. But science has no demons and if it did, it would most likely be found in failed experiments – a failed research…an end to all possibilities. For a while, Maura believed that demons only exist in those who are spiritual. Meeting Jane opened multiple new worlds that Maura never thought was possible. Because of Jane, Maura went to church, in sole respect. She'd watch Jane kneel and observe her praying. It took a while to register, but Maura learned that prayers were kept private as it was a one on one time with God. She'd watch the Holy Communion commence and how the bread and wine represented the blood and body of Jesus. Then there were Gospels and the story of Noah's Ark. And how could she forget Easter? It seemed to be the most prized part of the entire Catholic season. Despite all that, she still couldn't believe. She couldn't believe in an almighty spirit nor could she believe in demons.

Until now.

The room was filled with thousands of flying shadows, sweeping into Maura's sanity, or at least, that's what she thought so. The room was pitch black, even though a lamp was lit nearby. There were sounds of howling and screaming, but that was only coming from Maura. She clawed her arms and then her ears until she could feel the insides of her skin. The shadows began to spin harder and faster until Maura, so desperately, tried to cup her ears. Demons were out to get her.

Maura noted the strength of her nails as it left dents all across her wrist. Soon, more reoccurring nightmares revisited her, strangling her straight to doom, only now, the highlighted part was Jane's damaged wrists. It seemed as if Maura was mimicking Jane's scars. She continued to dig deep, fighting the force that appeared from nowhere. Someone was now screaming Maura's name and it was not by her. She continued to other unscarred parts, occasionally scratching her face. She yelled hard as she put her entire momentum on the tips of her fingers. There it was again – the unrelenting force and screaming. Soon, Maura's arms grew tired as her face burned. And the force returned, causing Maura to hold back – to stop harming herself. Hands cupped both sides of her face and soon enough, she felt as if someone were slapping her. In the midst of that, her hands were being restrained to her sides.

"Maura!" a voice said. Her head began to shake, uncontrollably. But all she could see was Jane and her arms. In this moment, Maura was convinced that she was entering Hell and that the arms and hands that harassed her, were demonic hands, welcoming her to Hell. Maura nearly embraced it. She could see the faces of dead men, woman, and children and at the end of eternal darkness, Jane's face, as they all opened their arms to welcome her.

"Maura!" the voice said in a more assertive plead. Slowly, the fiery pit of Hell began to slip from Maura's grasp. The many faces continued to scream and both parties began to rip apart. "Why is she resisting?"

Darkness soon turned into light as her body began to regain full control. She tried to open her eyes and confusion drowned her as she continued to wiggle around. A hand was placed on her forehead and she could feel that she was being held down. She heard crying and words that didn't make sense. Slowly, Maura returned to reality. She regained control of her eyes and blinked a few times. The first thing she noticed was her barrier, the only thing keeping her from the rest of the world, had been breached. The dresser was tipped to its side and Maura began kicking her feet wildly.

"Maura! We're here!" Frankie struggled to keep his in law down.

"Sweetie!" Angela cried. "Sweetie, stop! We're here! No one's going to hurt you!" she cupped Maura's face and stared at the scratches near her eyes. "Maura! It's Angela!"

Deep brown eyes stared into Maura, slowly calming her down. And as each second passed, the grip that held onto Maura loosened. Maura regained control of her muscles, but was hurdled by a hug from Angela.

"Maura," she said as a tear dropped against Maura's neck. "You need to get help…"

ˣˣ

What Jane did not understand it why someone would be held hostage at an apartment. In the moments when she hadn't passed out from losing blood, she had become certain that she was being kept at an apartment – a fairly modern and large sized one too. Her hands were cuffed behind her back and she laid on a rug, instantly smelling her own blood. Her neck cramped up from the lack of movement. Her memory had countless holes but the main thing she remembered is that at one moment, she was in a strange comfort of her blood thirsty family and next, she's laying in a nice apartment, slowly bleeding to death. _But thank goodness there was an I.V. inserted in her. _Who knew bad guys had such nice places and an I.V? In fact, who were these guys and what did they want from her? The men did not speak directly to her, but instead spoke about her and lounged around as if it were a bachelor pad.

On one end of the apartment, minimalistic pieces of furniture and pictures hung around the room. The kitchen was complete, as was the rest of the space. The men hung around, waiting for orders, or at least that's what Jane theorized. They never removed their ski masks…for obvious reasons.

Attempting to recollect any memory on how she got here, ultimately failed. What came back were the faces of her beloved. It hurt so much that she'd much rather pass out. She couldn't help but to relive what she could remember. She wanted to hold her little boy…_and daughter. _Hesitation filled Jane as she mumbled those words in her head. She refused to believe she has a daughter. Another anchor that pulled her down is how she remembered, very faintly, how she felt Maura's soft and trembling hands on her inhumane arms and how she and Maura were screaming their lungs out in the hospital room. But that's all she remembered. Morphine and pure numbness fogged her memory.

Jane stared at the man watching T.V. She wondered who he was, specifically, since he was the only one who took orders from someone else and dispersed the information to the rest of the men. Her detective cogs and wheels weren't turning and because of that, she could not make sense of the information she tried to so hard to piece together. But when the man made eye contact with Jane, he got up, walked towards her, and suddenly, Jane's world turned black, just like that.

ˣˣ

Angela applied multiple layers of cream on Maura until they could see the reflection of the lights on her arm. No one spoke. Only tears were present, mainly from Angela. Maura swooned in and out of reality. Frankie took his niece and nephew to Tommy's. _They _really did not need to see their mother like this. And _no one _expected Maura to fall so low.

"How long have you had these dreams?" Angela asked, not knowing how to word the question. She knew the silence needed to stop, since silence is never a guaranteed fix. "Wild guess, but for a while?"

A tear strolled down Maura's cheek, telling Angela that she was back in reality. "Yes…for a while."

Angela nodded and continued to rub cream. "Could you give me a time frame?"

"The first time I saw her arms." Maura replied. "Then it escalated since we went to her apartment."

"I'm gonna go call Frankie." Angela got up.

"No…" Maura held onto Angela's hand. "Please. I'll be fine. I need more time to process the information…please…"

"He already knows, dear. He won't think any less of you. It's a very difficult situation, I know, but don't shut _us _out. We need to help each other." Angela reassured her. "I'll go get more cream."

ˣˣ

Frankie did his best to not make his crying obvious. His nose was dying to get everything out, but he had to hold everything in.

"Mommy never told us." Johnny said quietly as to not wake his sister.

Frankie quickly wiped his face before looking at the rearview mirror. His nephew stared outside the window, looking rather serious, even for his age. Frankie cleared his throat.

"Tell you what?"

"Why Detective Jane has the same last name as me." His soft voice made no question.

At the sound of her name, Frankie choked on his own breath. He felt his pulse race. He wasn't prepared for this since Maura was _supposed _to be the one who would tell them. It wasn't the _uncle's _job to deliver the news. Not now, not ever! But his mind was on a rush and he saw his nephew looking straight into the rearview mirror, waiting for an answer. His thoughts ran faster than his motor skills and his palms grew sweaty. Suddenly, he felt dizzy, with all the thoughts and before Frankie realized it, he blurted an out an answer.

"You're related." Soon after, he felt his body relax as if saying those two simple words was like lifting a grand piano. Then, Frankie's eyes grew wide, realizing what he had just said. Next, he looked into the mirror. Johnny's eyebrows arched, too much like Jane. He wondered what his five year old nephew was thinking and what thoughts he could be arranging with the not so subtle statement. Did Johnny have more questions? Frankie hoped he wouldn't tread on the subject any further.

His innocence brought a huge wave of relief to Frankie and just in time as they pulled into Tommy's driveway. Frankie wanted out of this specific situation. He knew it wasn't his place to blurt the truth out, especially at this time. He knew it wouldn't be long until Johnny mentions it to someone. He grabbed his sleepy niece, carefully, and took Johnny's hand into his. Together, they walked towards the door where Johnny rushed to ring the doorbell. Tommy opened the door, revealing his own frustration.

"How is she?" he asked as he grabbed Arissa.

Frankie looked at his nephew and then to Tommy and whispered, "Not good. Maura's starting to," he paused and lowered his voice even more, "hurt herself. Look, I gotta go back to the precinct. I'll update you and ma if anything pops up.

Tommy nodded. "Alright. Come on little man. Say bye to Uncle Frankie."  
"Byee!" he said as he hugged Frankie.

"Take care, okay? Uncle Tommy will be with you."

ˣˣ

"What are the other precincts saying?" Cavanaugh asked.

"Surrounding cities are willing to help. Cities seventy miles out have their beefs…" Frost said with a heavy sigh.

"They're not willing to help? Why the hell not?"

"In their words, 'It's not a homicide case and we don't help _her _kind.'" Frost read the e-mail.

"What the hell do they mean with _her kind?_ It's cops helping cops!"

"Korsak, they don't see it that way." Cavanaugh said quietly. "They do have a point. To hell with them. Keep sending BOLO's out. Where the hell is Frankie?"

"On the way, sir. He had to drop off the kids at Tommy's."

"Why aren't they with Maura or Angela?"

"Uh…" Frost began. "She's…not…uh…they're-."

"What?"

"Maura's been….in and out…lately. She's been….she's locked herself in her room…and Frankie said she's been…uh…_hurting herself."_

Cavanaugh and Korsak said in unison. "_What?"_

"Shit…make sure they get whatever they need."

"Will do."

Footsteps came hurdling into the bullpen.

"Sorry! I drove as fast as I could!" Frankie said.

"How's Maura?" Korsak asked. Frost glared at him.

"Not good. Ma and I had to hold her down because she kept scratching herself on her arms and face." Frankie replied quickly. "When I left, ma was putting cream on Maura…It's a mess."

"Damn right it is." Cavanaugh said.

"Well, enough of that. We won't get anywhere if we sit around. Where are we at?"

Rejuvenated by Frankie's willingness, the four men huddle around.

"We really need to start from the beginning." Korsak suggested.

"Right." Frankie cleared his throat. "Florida State Police contacts us because their suspect crossed state lines. Julian de Guzman and Tyler Booth are connected and their associates are working with them."

"But, Booth turned out to be a puppet, revealing de Guzman to be behind all this." Frost added. "And…then…everything unfolded, each day slowly revealing more. Then de Guzman was gunned down and his two buddies wouldn't give anything up. Which leads us to one thing. Someone else is overlooking the entire operation. And whoever that is, managed to kidnap Jane in front of all of us."

"Back to square one then." Frankie sighed.

"Not really. We've got units out already. But we can't have the entire building focused on this case. Really, Missing Persons should be dealing with this, but I demanded to lead the case from them." Cavanaugh stared at the computer screens. "But you guys need to also work on your other cases. Do whatever you need to and hope we don't get anymore murders."

"Hold on, Cavanaugh." Frost said. "We're getting a message from Rhode Island, Connecticut, parts of New York, and Vermont."

"What are they saying?"

"They're willing to help us. They already have units out. Hell, they even sent out maps on where they're going."

"Nice, Frost! What about Greenfield, Northampton, and cities past the seventy mile mark?"

"No word."

"Then that's as good as we can get tonight. Go make copies and put them into storage."

"Yes sir…" Frost met the papers at the printer, made copes, and walked towards the elevator to head into the basement. He looked into the morgue and missed seeing Maura there. The space had more occupied by none only than Dr. Pike. Frost quickly diverted his eyes somewhere else. Next, he opened the door revealing all the cases that has ever entered Boston PD. Walking near the end of the room, he met a box, and sighed as he read the label.

"Jane Rizzoli,_ The Forbidden Case_."


	3. Surprises

Three|Surprises

The only thing Angela wanted to do is catch up on grocery shopping. She intended on buying food for the next two weeks in hopes to be at home, and be with Maura, as much as possible. There was no time for distractions, no time to waste on cooking, even though cooking would be the best way to distract the elder Rizzoli. That's all Angela wanted to do. To buy easy to make food and to maybe _buy _her some time to relax her mind. But the market would not let her do so – at least, not easily.

All around the store, men and women of all ages held a newspaper tightly and angrily in their hands. Like clumps of ants, each person had something to say – more bad than good. There was no break in all of this. Angela was lucky to not have any pictures of her be taken. She was fortunate that she could hide her identity from the public eye. She was glad that her face was not plastered on every newspaper across the nation. It would have been worse. It could have been. Especially since the comments were already horrid about her daughter.

"She's fucking back, huh?" one man said.

"She's been beck for some time now," another added. "Where the hell have you been?"

"Out of this damn state! She makes Boston look bad!"

"Got that right. Hey, get this." The man flipped through the newspaper. "She's gone again!"

"What the hell? Did she leave her family again like last time?"

"According to this article, she was kidnapped. Nurses said there were men in black who took her…"

Angela quickly gathered her things and pushed her cart towards the cash register. There would be no break from this. Even the cashier seemed hesitant, almost trying to not make eye contact, as if Angela was the Devil herself. To pass time, she grabbed her phone, unlocked it, and read her mail. The first eight messages was from various newspaper, each one sending a digital copy of the paper. It had been five weeks and two days since the face of her only daughter wasn't on the front page. And here, a little past a month, it seemed that Jane was the only thing that people wanted to read about.

By the time the last item was bagged, more people began opening newspapers and bickering about it. Angela grabbed her items, completely ignoring the young man that offered to help, and rushed to her car. By the time she was on the main street, her body calmed and it only lasted a moment, since Maura's house was nearby. She removed her keys, grabbed the bags, and headed for the front door. She could hear the T.V quietly behind the door. She knew it was Maura and she smiled, since it was the first time she's stepped out from her room.

"Oh Maura! Why are you watching that?" Angela asked. The headline news was no other than Jane. "Switch it off!"

"No!" she pleaded. "I…I need to know."

"Why listen to the media? We have Detective Frost, Korsak, and everyone we know looking for her! Don't listen to the -."

"I get the feeling that you aren't telling me everything. I feel like I'm missing something. I feel like I'm being _lied _to."

"We're not hiding anything. I swear on that." Angela quickly replied.

"This is all _my_ fault." Maura said.

Angela's eyes growled. "Don't you ever say that. _This_…all of this…can't be blamed on one person." She forced out. "It's definitely not _your _fault."

"If I had just seen the signs, the way we were, the way we acted, the way-."

"Maura. Please." Angela pleaded. "It's not your fault. We could sit here for days and wonder all the things we could have done. We can mope around and," she caught the healing scar at the edge of Maura's eye, "just…waste time…or we could try out best to move forward."

"How can you tell me that? How can you tell me to move forward when I've been emotionally ripped to pieces? I can't even tell what day it is today. I can't even see my _children _because of this!" She pointed at her arms and face. "I turned into Jane, Angela. The very person who picked me up is the same person who smashed me into a million pieces. So no, Angela, moving forward is at the bottom of my list."

ˣˣ

"Did you know Dopamine is released when we're happy?"

Frankie stared at his nephew. "Are you sure you're not some genius living in a little boy's body?" he chuckled. "What flavor do you want?"

Johnny smiled. "Mommy says that's impossible. And chocolate. Can I have sprinkles and gummy bears?"

"Sure kid." He ordered the ice cream. "Did your mom teach you that?"

"Yup! She read it to us. The book is this big!" He threw his arms out as wide as he could. "Mommy taught us how to read with it!"

Frankie smiled at his nephew, always astonished with his ability and desire to learn. His thoughts wandered off to Maura, quietly dwelling on how far _she's _come. Hell, they've all come a long way. Regardless of everything, especially of the recent events, Maura never gave up. Perhaps the reason was obvious, so crystal clear, that Maura did not want any child to go through a loveless childhood just as she had. And despite having one night change a huge course of her life, she was determined, to not let _her _kids suffer, even if they've suffered so much already. And many may compliment Maura on her job done extraordinarily well. Because if Maura failed at the very start, then the product of her failure would radiate darkly through her children.

"It's ready." A small voice said. Frankie felt a tug on his shirt.

"Huh, what?" he snapped back into reality.

"The ice cream." Johnny pointed at the woman. "It's ready."

"Oh…" the older Rizzoli walked towards the counter, eyed the employee, and returned with the ice cream.

"Thanks!" Johnny said. He slammed his lips into the sweet treat. "What are we going to do today?"

It was the second time that Frankie spaced out in a span of less than five minutes. As of late, Frankie needed to have an answer ready for all possible questions that could linger so innocently from his nephew's lips. It seemed as if turning five suddenly meant a whole new level of maturity that no one could grasp quite yet. But then again, they had Maura as their mother. That statement alone was self explanatory.

But what were they going to do? Frankie knew for sure that they would not be returning to Tommy's anytime soon especially since -.

"Why isn't Arissa with us?"

Boom.

Damn.

The hairs on Frankie's neck rose.

"Um….she's hanging out with Aunt Heather…and they're just having a girl's day, you know?" It was the truth. Sort of. "Besides, it's time we -."

"Well, what about mommy?" he asked. "Riss and mommy always go out for girls day. Why haven't we seen mommy in days?"

_Because your other mother is causing hell of all of us especially to your mom, _Frankie wanted to say. _And that your other mom is actually my sister and that it's all fucking hell. _Instead of answering, Frankie pretended he didn't hear anything. Again, he was at an intersection. There was no way to explain to a very smart five year old child what his mother was currently doing to herself. He couldn't explain how Arissa was having her own issues with any _male _figures. He couldn't explain the situation and nearly cried his tears and frustration into his ice cream. Frankie Rizzoli simply could not explain.

ˣˣ

Maura sat against the edge of her bed, hugging her knees. Everything about her was dry – tears, emotions and all. The glow that used to diffuse from the woman had become lost in a drowning ocean. Her eyes were blank, waiting for Angela to return from the kitchen. Then, out of nowhere, a strong growl from her stomach appeared, slowly creeping up towards her throat. Suddenly, she felt nauseous. Without thinking, she bolted towards the bathroom and hunched over the toilet, letting out all the negativity that boiled inside of her.

At least that's what she kept telling herself.

And then the hives settled in, over and over again.

Maura rested her head on top of her arm and sighed as she closed her eyes. Six times. She's had these sudden nauseating episodes six times in the last month.

_It's the last seven weeks fault. You're too stressed._

More hives would appear.

"How long have you known?" Angela appeared from behind, slightly startling Maura. There was no point in lying now.

"A month." Maura replied.

"Have you taken a-."

No. I'm sure I'm-."

"Pregnant?" Angela filled in. They hadn't heard that word in a long time. "Is it…Tanner's?"

The silence between them was the answer.

"Does he know?"

"I've kept it to myself until just now." Maura added.

"You do know this will be different from Johnny and Arissa?"

"I know."

The short answer was ticking Angela off. But then again, so was everything else. Instead of purging on with questions, Angela flushed the toilet, handed Maura a tissue and a glass of water, and sat next to her.

"You're not alone in this." Angela reminded her. "You're not alone in any of this. Don't you forget that, okay?"

ˣˣ

Jane had lost count of the days. She'd lost count of how many times they'd kicked, punched, and neglected her. Food became scarce and her liberty to stretch was gone. Every millimeter of her was numb beyond truth. And the only thing that barely worked was her ears.

The men grew more frantic as the hours passed. For kidnappers, they were pretty terrible at it. Painful humor could only penetrate through Jane's mind, since she thought she'd make a much better kidnapper than them. The leader remained calm, however, and on certain days, he gave a whack on his inferiors, only to reinforce that there were _two _bosses in the entire ordeal. Her attention switched as three men returned with boxes.

"Clorox is over there." The leader said. "Everything needs to be fuckin' _polished._"

_Polished? _Jane murmured to herself. _What for?_

"What about her?" another man asked. In unison, they looked at Jane.

"I'll deal with her."

"But the blood stains…"

"Right…okay. I'll move her while you guys wash everything out." The man walked towards Jane. "Come on," he grunted. "We're getting ready to move."

_Move? Move where?_

The man grabbed a hold of Jane's shackled arms, nearly ripping her hair. Jane coughed up blood and felt her entire body ribcage crack. But this was nothing compared to Hoyt or Dominick. These guys were just warm ups.

As soon as the man managed to get Jane to her feet, two men ran towards the blood drenched carpet, like mice, and began cleaning up. Jane's left felt like spaghetti. She was being led towards the couch and all ropes rose because maybe, _just maybe_, she could sit on something _soft_. But her hopes died in a matter of seconds as the man dropped Jane on the kitchen floor, allowing her to fall face first into the ground.

"When you're done," the man said, "pack your things and get ready to clear out."

"What if someone sees us?"

"You don't trust me?" he asked. No one replied. "That's what I thought. Take your masks off before you head out."

"What about the girl?"

"Like I said, I'll deal with her, now _hurry the fuck up_. You're wasting our time." The man was getting antsy, as if a vulture was hovering over him. He watched as the others begin to pour the cleaning solution. Together, they scrubbed and wrinkled their nostrils at the stench. After a good ten minutes, one of them looked up

"The blood is deeper than we thought."

"Yeah," another man added. "It's probably soaked up to the base layer."

The man nodded. "Plan B then. The stuff is behind the clothes in the closet. Get a hammer and find the hollow spot. You're going to get _everything _that's inside. Understood?"

"Yes sir." They replied as they returned to the room.

"Now for you," the man growled at Jane. "We need to prepare a little surprise for your friends. We don't want them thinking you're alive, huh?" he laughed out loud, almost evil like. From his back pocket, he ripped out a small knife and slashed it across Jane's neck, sending waves of old nightmares once more.

"We'll just leave _some _blood. So they'll think -."

"We've got it." The two men said. One was holding a mannequin, while the other held a lumpy trash bag.

The man's attention turned. Letting go of Jane, he walked to the wall and smeared the bloody knife. Next he took the mannequin, clothes it from the other bag and laid it on its face. Jane caught a quick glimpse of what they were doing and realized that they were going to lure _them _here.

It sort of made sense.

Sort of.

"You." The man said. "Get the car. We'll be there in three minutes. Remember, act natural." He turned to Jane. "Oh…_Janie…_" she winced at the sound of the name. "Oh that's right. You haven't been called that in a while, haven't you? Well, wouldn't want to spoil the party for your friends. Wouldn't want to spend another life time thinking what you could have done to prevent all of this. And who could forget your children?" Jane's eyes widen. "They're beautiful creatures. Wouldn't want them to know that their other mother is a selfish monster."

A beeper went off. "He's ready."

The man nodded once more. "Oh, but you'll have more time to think about it in the car. Come on!" he grabbed Jane by the hair. As he took off his mask, Jane caught only a glimpse of his chin.

_I've seen that chin some-._

Darkness totaled her. A black pillow case was being placed on her head and she felt a needle being stabbed into her neck. Their voices slurred as she could feel herself being picked up.

"Check the hallways!" she heard.

"Clear!"

"Okay! Go!"

She heard footsteps running and felt blood draining towards her forehead. She could feel herself hanging upside down and her ribs being pressed against something.

Then, three shots.

And Jane was out.


End file.
